I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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