you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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