Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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