So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
