my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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