the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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