two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
