i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize