Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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