I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
