make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
