omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
