exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
