In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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