We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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