In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
