How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
