I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
