I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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