Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize