frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
