honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
we're so committed to being not committed
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
