If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
