Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
PANTIES FOUND
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
