Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
