Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
