no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
