My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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