i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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