Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
