Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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