Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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