why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
