no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize
