Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
