A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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