I wish you could order shots online.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
