He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
