the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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