How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
