Christians are straight up FREAKS
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
