I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
