i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
