Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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