That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
