This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
