You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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