I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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