Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
