Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
