there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
