Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
