Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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