I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
