I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
