Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
