Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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