the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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