so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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