New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
