she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
