so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
