are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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