oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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