Me too!
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize