yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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